It's official. I've been boiling misery the past two weeks - in varying degrees of intensity. and the music - surprizingly - has been of most help. It's been everything, from Gujarati ghazals to retro to jazz to film music. But last evening, it struck me that the most of the music and counselling happened in Upasana's car. In fact, the music played catalyst to the couselling.
And once again, I wept to Tere Ishq Mein as i waited for Upasana to get back from an enquiry for her iPhone motherboard at the Jubilee Hills Technovision. Surprizingly, as we approached the Indu township, Aazadiyan tuned in. पैरों की बेड़ियाँ ख्वाबों को बांधे नहीं रे...
For the past few days, I've been continuously asking myself why I bothered coming to Hyderabad in the first place. What was I thinking?! And this song - my anthem; my mantra; my motivation - beckoned me to think again. I came here for freedom. I came here to realise my dreams. I came here because I was determined to make it a second time - make it big, make it bright. I'd snatched it, not asked for it, not begged.
And when no one could stop me from coming, from flying, why this dilemma? Aazadiyaan brought back my spirit; my revelry in this city. It was never meant to be the end of my quest, but a means to my motives - a means to be happier and more productive.
The song reminded me not to despair for what I'm missing - I should've in fact expected it - कहानी ख़तम है, या शुरुआत होने को है? आने वाला वक़्त देगा पनाहें, या फिर से मिलेंगे दो राहें. So here I am, treating this as the answer to all the chaos in my head. खबर क्या... क्या पता?